Living your old age in fear


My favorite old people, Ma and Dad, are 78 and almost 81, respectively.  What I find very unnerving, within the last few years, is how afraid they are of the world.  For example, my mother will NOT put outgoing bills in her mailbox for the postal worker to pick up.  Nope.  She drives them to either the big blue mailbox in front of the Hamel, IL post office or, if she’s “up town” in Edwardsville, drops them in the big blue mailboxes there.  “Someone could come along and steal the checks out of our mailbox.”  I suppose so, but how they’re gonna get away with depositing a check written out to Verizon or the cable company is beyond me.

I live west of downtown St. Louis, MO.  St. Louis is the new Detroit (i.e., Murder Capital USA).  When it’s a beautiful night, I leave my windows opened in my first-floor condo.  I figure that if someone wants me that badly, it won’t matter how many locks, etc. I have.  My parents lock up every door and window on the first floor of their home on 35 acres.  They live in the boonies.  “Well, Route 55 is not that far from the farm.  Somebody could easily come here and kill us.”  Sure.  Ok.  My folks have 5 dogs, two are huge German Shepherd Dogs.  Even if somebody wanted to hike from Route 55, over MANY MANY acres of farmland to specifically target my folks, they’d have to get through 5 dogs, all of which would want to take a bite out of whatever body part was available.  If, miraculously, they got upstairs to hurt my folks, there are several loaded guns just waiting for them.  I hope Mom will be the one shooting – Pa can’t hit the broad side of a barn.

Is it just that the P’s watch too much news?  Is it AARP purposely perpetuating stories of seniors being scammed, hurt, etc.?  I don’t know where these fears come from.  And my folks will not listen to reason.

I would just hate to live in fear all of the time.  Yes, I understand that seniors DO get scammed, their homes broken into, etc., but I certainly don’t think my folks need to worry to the extent that they do.

Anyone else with ageing parents have the same issues?

20 Replies to “Living your old age in fear”

  1. Oh dear…yes, my mom went through this her last ten years too. She was 70 when she died but the years leading up to that, everything was a conspiracy theory, nobody was any good. She refused to speak positively about much. She watched tons of reality shows and became ensconced more in their lives than she did the real world. She became scared to drive and so many other things. It was not the person who raised me and became hard to accept the change and that i could not change her. I had to tune a lot of it out to have time with her. 😔

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Exactly!! It kind of makes me insane, but I try not to be so prickly about it. They love Steve Harvey and have to watch Family Feud every day LOL …. and now they’re big into Walker Texas Ranger and the Waltons. You have to watch out when you call —- you’ll likely end up hearing a synopsis of last night’s Walton’s episode. I’m sorry you lost your mom so young.


      1. I’m cracking up at them watching their Steve Harvey 😂😂😂 My mom was obsessed with the show called Little People? Or whatever it was? And sisterwives *facepalm*. Oh lord and George Lopez. My grampa loved Walker Texas Ranger, I know that one well 😂😂😂

        Thank you so much. It’s been two years. Gotten a smidge easier over time.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry to hear about the situation of your parents …
    sounds all too familiar.
    Perhaps there is an underlying health problem as was with my parents.
    They too had increasingly anxiety till the point of panic and total rejection of “the big bad world”.
    I wish you strenght, courage and insight in these uncertain family-times.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words of support. I know they both take statins for high cholesterol — I’ve read that statins are linked to increased dementia/Alzheimer’s, which is why I don’t take them myself. Any drug that decreases the fat stores around the nerves in my brain will not be part of my drug regimen. My Dr. has tried unsuccessfully to get me on them …. no way! Anyway, I’d be willing to bet that if they got off their statins, their world fear would most likely lessen. They are both relatively healthy, except for a bit of high BP and cholesterol. Keeping my fingers crossed for them. Thanks again so much.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your kind words. There is a fear, but mostly I see a lack of confidence in their abilities, etc. Some things that I’ve noticed are normal(ish) old-age stuff, but some things make me pause. They do get out – Mom is involved in an HCE club and both parents are involved in the local Senior’s club. Mom was even an officer in both! I guess in posting this, I wanted to know if other people with ageing parents were noticing the same fears etc. Again I am grateful for your kindness.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I understand. It’s good to know they’re getting out and engaged, and they look such a devoted couple. My mother was the opposite. All her life she loved adventures and found them too. Safety was the least of her worries. My dad was open minded and innocent to the very end, and such people are not afraid. So… Perhaps your parents are just being themselves only more so. As Popeye said, I am what I am.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Unfortunately, as you noted in your blog, there are some bad people out there. It’s not so much living in fear – it’s more of living in an attempt to keep others from taking one more day away from your enjoyment.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Don’t ever fuckin’ shame anyone on their own blog. Who the hell do you think you are to assume I don’t take my parents’ safety seriously? I was basically asking if other people with ageing parents noticed the same trend in their family.

    I KNOW there are issues with seniors being targeted for violence, but it has NOTHING to do with “the new influx.”

    And In Cold Blood is one of my favorite books – I know EXACTLY what it’s all about.

    You can go ahead and live your holier than thou life all buttoned up and afraid. However, don’t you dare sit behind a keyboard and spew out nasty, negative shit. If you don’t like what I write, PLEASE unfollow the blog. You will not shame me on my own blog. Get over yourself.


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