St. Louis has been absolutely HELLA HOT these last few weeks …. holy balls, a person can’t even go to the Walgreens a mile away without turning into a sweat puddle or, as in the gif above, a burning, flaming human-ish blob. I have nice patio furniture that I can’t use because … yep, IT’S TOO FUCKING HOT TO SIT OUTSIDE!
I know, I know …. in a few short months it’ll be back to “cold as a witch’s tit” (my Ma’s favorite saying) and I shouldn’t complain. BUT. GOOD. GOD. Landlocked in the Midwest is, basically, hell. There’s no breeze off the ocean to semi-cool you off — there’s no mountains nearby to climb and get relief — it’s just acres of hot asphalt.
I need a pool. Actually, I need a home with a backyard first, THEN a pool. And a pitcher of COLD margaritas. And a huge pool float.
Oh yeah …………. I feel better now.
(gifs from Google)