Back in September of last year, I had started an online “course” about clearing …. getting rid of the shit in your life. Not just stuff, but emails, toxic friends, etc. The whole shebang. Well, I quit following the course (ugh) but have kept up a few small activities in that vein – making my bed every morning, putting away my work clothes instead of throwing them on the bed to put away “later” … tidying up the kitchen, etc. My condo STILL feels like a shithole.
I’ve been SO GOOD at going through my too-big clothes and handing them down to my niece … going through scads of bed linens and older towels to donate to the cat rescues I’ve supported … got rid of ALL the magazines I had thrown all over the floor … and I’ve been super good at NOT buying needless shit at the Goodwill. That in itself should garner an award.
But over the weekend, I’ve been giving thought to leaving STL (aka, murder capital of the US) for parts as yet unknown. But to do that, how will I move all the stuff I currently have at my condo PLUS all the accumulated shit of the last 30 years that’s now in a storage unit costing me $76 per month? Well, I’ve decided that I can’t keep all this stuff. It’s a burden. It feels like a weight on my soul.
I have some thing that I flatly refuse to part with — photo albums, my king-size 4-poster bed, some of my favorite books. Other stuff — a teak outside set my (now) ex-live-in bought before we moved down to STL that cost $6000 (!!) — an oak dining set including a china hutch that (now ex) husband #2 and I bought — literally tons of books, linens, art, kitchen stuff, clothes ….. the list is endless. It’s a bit heartbreaking to think that these things must do, but, on the flip side, when/where will I ever use a large dining set? I don’t even use my bar-top table at my condo!
Just reading a few articles today, has made me realize how I have let my things hold me down.
And this meme has really struck a cord with me:
I think I need to change my mindset about things and my relationship with the stuff I need to get rid of. I mean really — are my kids gonna want my boxes of VHS Disney movies for their kids?? Oh Fuck No…..there will be some other new medium, in addition to streaming, that will render most every kind of device I now own obsolete. Nobody hardly owns a VHS player anymore! It’s almost as ancient as 8-tracks (Google that if you’re too young to know what they are! LOL)
I need to change in a serious way. Right now.