Thanksgiving Family Nightmare – the Mom edition

I don’t know if any of you has issues with family during the holidays, but I’m gonna bet that most of y’all do. This past Thanksgiving really was not all I hoped for myself or for my Mom.

I’m the eldest of 4 (now grown) kids, the 2 youngest being my brothers. I love them, but I don’t always like them.  I’m not liking them right now.

Neither son called to wish his mother a happy thanksgiving. Now, in this age of instant communication, couldn’t they have taken 5 seconds to tap out a line?  Would that have been too much?  Not even a turkey emoji? Mom has had shitty holiday gatherings since she was a child, mostly due to HER parents, aunts, uncles, etc.  The men getting drunk and weird …. My grandpa Ed standing up to stab something at the other end of the table … bickering … just all around nastiness and stress.  Occasionally things work out fairly well, but there’s always a turd in the punchbowl of my Mom’s existence to ruin things.  The turds are usually my brothers.

Well, this year I got to experience the heartbreak and disappointment, again, myself. I’d originally thought that neither one of my girls (early 20’s) had texted back at my “happy thanksgiving” text.  Now, usually my youngest is really good about that …. She’s the one who calls me to FaceTime, sends photos, texts, etc.  My eldest is my own personal turd.  I truly believe, in some way, that she loves me, but I’m guessing that she doesn’t like me very much.  That’s all well and good, not everyone likes me, but don’t be talking shit about me to your friends, sister, and dad, don’t call, don’t text, don’t nuthin, and then expect a big Christmas check to be flying to your grubby hands via U.S. Mail. Ainta-happening. No Mo.

So anyway, on Friday, I bought a 1.75 litre of wine, and had a pity party …. A reeeeal honest to goodness meltdown.

You know who DID text me on Thanksgiving? My best guy friend …. And MY EX HUSBAND.  Not my kids, but my ex.  WTF.

Ya know, it never mattered if I had nothing going on for the holidays or if I had a huge gathering to cook for and entertain …. I NEVER neglected to call my mother. Or my grandmother.  NEVER.  Of course, that was the age before texting (not all that long ago, mind you …) … I actually DIALED the phone and SPOKE to her.  Even if it was for a few minutes.  All us Moms wanna know is that you care enough to say “hi, I’m thinking about you …. Hope you have a great day/evening/weekend … wish we were together …. Remember when we used to blahblahblah ….” We want to hear your voice.  Is that so much to fucking ask for?

I was really sad. I understand how my mom feels on holidays when she texts the boys and hears nothing.  I truly hope they never have the same happen to them …. Well, no, I’m gonna take that back.  I HOPE they have it happen.  I hope their daughters/sons make plans with in-laws or friends or other family members and don’t find 5 seconds in their day to text their dads.  I want them to wonder if they were good fathers or shitty fathers … I want them to ask themselves what they did wrong … I want them to feel the heartbreak and disappointment.

Someday my mom and dad won’t be around. Probably sooner than the boys think.

It’ll be too late then.

Karma’s a bitch, boys.

3 Replies to “Thanksgiving Family Nightmare – the Mom edition”

  1. Take heart — I don’t think you can’t measure a child’s love for you by how often they text or call. Some people are just not wired that way, particularly sons. But that’s OK — it’s our expectations that are off. Anytime I EXPECT something from someone, I have set myself up for disappointment. On the other hand, I don’t want to go see my mom because she expects me to. I want to do it because I want to. So I’m working hard at just accepting my kids and everyone else for who they are. If I see them, fine. If not, their loss. ; )

    Liked by 1 person

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