Farts

Yes, you read that right.  Farts.

The funniest gas ever.

I spent the last few days with my bestest guy friend G up in the outskirts of Minneapolis.  I’ve known this man for 40 years.  He dated my sister for about 5 minutes.  Me?  Never.

We just have sex.  But I digress.

If you can fart in front of someone you love, you’re probably destined to be together.  And did I EVER get a lotta lovin’ these past few days. OH MY FRICKIN’ GOD.

One time, he farted so long that I said that if he were a balloon, he’d be skimming the ceiling.  And yes, that is a photo of hot air balloons.  He coulda launched them all.

His new nickname is Gasbag.

As a lady, I didn’t partake in the Gas-apalooza.  That doesn’t mean I love him any less, it just means that had I tried to force one out, I woulda crapped my pants.  Just sayin.

I’m lucky to be alive.